domingo, 4 de diciembre de 2011

Bend Sinister

From Defoe's Roxana or the Fortunate Mistress—first read in 1983, I'm rereading it these days:

But to look back to the particular Observation I was making, which, I hope may be of Use to those who read my Story; I say, it was something wonderful to me, to see this Person so exceedingly delighted at the Birth of this Child, and so pleas'd with it; for he would sit and look at it, and with an Air of Seriousness sometimes, a great while together; and particularly, I observ'd, he lov'd to look at it when it was asleep.
     It was, indeed, a lovely, charming Child, and had a certain Vivacity in its Countenance, that is, far from being common to all Children so young; and he would often say to me, that he believ'd there was something extraordinary in the Child, and he did not doubt but he would come to be a Great Man.
     I could never hear him so, but tho' secretly it pleas'd me, yet it so closely touch'd me another Way, that I could not refrain Sighing, and sometimes Tears; and one time, in particular, it so affected me, that I could not conceal it from him; but when he saw Tears run down my Face, there was no importunate to be deny'd, in a thing of that Moment; so I frankly answer'd, It sensibly affects, me, MY LORD, said I, that whatever the merit of this little Creature may be, he must always have a Bend on his Arms; the Disaster of his Birth will be always, not a Blot only to his Honour, but a Bar to his Fortunes in the World; our Affection will ever be his Affliction, and his Mother's Crime be the Son's Reproach; the Blot can never be wip'd out by the most glorious Actions; nay, if it lives to raise a Family, said I, the Infamy must descend even to its innocent posterity.
     He took the Thought, and sometimes told me afterwards, that it made a deeper Impression on him, than he discover'd to me at that time; but for the present, he put it off, with telling me, these things cou'd not be help'd; that they serv'd for a Spur to the Spirits of brave Men; inspir'd them with the principles of Gallantry, and prompted them to brave Actions; that tho' it might be true, that the mention of Illegitimacy might attend the Name, yet that Personal Virtue plac'd a Man of Honour above the Reproach of his Birth; that as he had no Share in the Offence, he would have no Concern at the Blot; when having by his own Merit plac'd himself out of the reach of Scandal, his Fame shou'd drown the Memory of his Beginning.





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